Goodbye Long-Legged Freaks

Tis my last blog entry for I will be returning to the states on Friday.  If there is anyone out there that is still reading this garbage, I feel sorry for you.  Alas, here is what I've learned from the gentle people of the Netherlands...

Proficiency: As a large, unfair, generalization of an entire culture, the Dutch are better at everything than everybody.  However, they do not have a completely true identity of their own.  The Dutch cook, play music, build roads, stay fit, and thrive better than any culture I've ever come across. The Dutch menu on it's own, is not very good, but I've had the best French desserts, Italian pizza, and Japanese sushi in Holland of all places.  Job well done, Dutch.

Efficiency: One day, I got off the bus and saw one guy cutting up some concrete next to the bus stop benches.  That evening, the concrete was fully removed.  The next morning a new set of benches with an entire new overhang was installed and a new bike rack was being installed.  By that afternoon, the entire bike rack was filled up with bikes.  If you build it, they will come.

Deficiency: The Dutch can't dance and their hamburgers are weird.

Safety Signs and the Original Duscholux

Can you identify these safety signs?  No?  Me neither.  Also, can someone tell me what a Duscholux is?

Merry Sinterklaas

dear reader, I write to you from inside a bar listening to a Belgium garage band do their best to play power chords in time. I have had more than 1, less than 12 beers, and am writing to say hello. Merry Sinterklaas. December 5 is when children around Holland put lists of toys they want I their shoes and leave them by the door. Sinterklaas and his Piets bring toys and place them next to their shoes if they are good and if they are bad kidnap them and take them to Spain. I may be +1 drinks in but I swear this is true. Look it up on Wikipedia.

Ice Skating Dutch Style

You outdid yourself again, Dutch.  Why have a regular skating rink when you can a rink that meanders in and out of carved out caverns?  Yes, at Sportiom in Den Bosch, I got to ice skate in a rink that was a series of paths and tunnels that cruise through a cave.  There is also a section of the rink that goes up hill a few meters and then back down hill to get a good speed burst in. 

Real rocks.  Real danger.  I was the oldest person on the ice by 15 years at least. 

The Dutch have again taken something so simple and made it so much better than everywhere else.  I'm getting tired of saying that.

Popronde 2014

Popronde is an annual music fest that travels around Holland.  It was in Eindhoven this Friday and is spread out across 20+ venues and 50+ upcoming musical acts.  I had a great time and saw some really good music.  For a full list of the bands and their songs, click here.

Food and Mermaids

Some random notes regarding realizations in Dutch-land.

1) The Dutch can really cook. Don't get me wrong, the traditional Dutch food isn't so great...raw meat spread across rolls with mushroom croquettes.  However, the restaurants in Eindhoven, Den Bosch, Amsterdam, and others have been exquisite.  We've had better French food than in Paris, better fried shrimp than in Paris, and we had a 4 Euro pizza the other night that, dare I say, rivaled any pizza I've ever had.  And for 4 Euros!  Damn.

2) I've come across a hint at my namesake.  In Dutch, the word zeemeerman means "mermaid".  I'm just saying, it would be pretty terrific if I came from a merman ancestry. 

GLOW in Eindhoven

GLOW is a annual festival in Eindhoven that features light shows and night art in all shapes and forms.  Tonight was the last night of the event.

Sinterklaas is coming to town!

1. Sinterklaas is not Santa Claus.  They understand who Santa Claus is, but is way lamer than Sinterklaas so only little kids believe in him.

2. Sinterklaas is a mythical man who came from Spain in a boat to bring children presents.  He and his horse arrive with his helpers and travels through all of the Netherlands from November 11 through December 4.  He travels in parades and his helpers give pepernoten (ginger snap cookies) to all the children.  Behind the scenes, the Piets (helpers) are spying on the children to make sure they are good or not.  If they are good, Sinterklaas gives them presents. 

3. There is global controversy over the Piets.  They are white Dutch people painted in black-face.  To those outside of Holland it does seem super racist, but to Nederlanders, it is a part of the culture.  No, these Piets are not slaves.  Their faces are black from going down chimneys to deliver the presents.  Yes, I was uncomfortable as an American seeing black-face, but it did make sense after seeing the whole festivities that is not at all weird but very normal.  Cool idea Dutch!

Random driving photos

Bon jour amigos!

Here are some photos from our weekend in Paris.  We had a terrific time.  Our hotel was nicely situated in the Gare Montparnasse area so easily walkable to Eiffel Tower, Champs Elysee, the museums, etc.  But better yet, we were in a district that solely was made up of excellent restaurants and adult video stores.  Ah, the romance of Paris.

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Meat-ish?

In Holland, there is a meat delicacy found in many authentic Dutch restaurants. It is raw, ground beef with certain spices and sometimes onions.  After asking my Dutch colleagues about it, turns out it is called Filet Américain.  Not only have I never seen this dish in America, but I'm pretty sure it is not allowed to be served.  Occasionally, you might see a steak tartar, but this is not a steak tartar, this is just raw meat on a plate.  Send all comments or concerns to barack.obama@gmail.com.

I AMsterdam!

Here are some photos are our trip to Amsterdam.  We went Halloween weekend.  Halloween is an up-and-coming holiday for Dutch (think Cinco de Mayo a decade ago in the states).  There were some people dressed up, but usually just had their face painted.  We went to a great electronica show (Kate Boy) for Halloween night and stayed right down at the canals.  The next day we walked around, took a nap at the park, and then did a series of art museums at night (Rembrandt House, Van Gogh Museum, Rijksmuseum, and Stedelijk).  Overall, Amsterdam was a beautiful city, but it was hard to really see it when we were constantly avoiding getting drilled by bicycles.

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Dutch Design in Eindhoven

The Never-Ending Sunrise

Good trip back from Singapore.  13 hours in the air.  I was pretty good about sleeping the whole time.  But, the best part was that since the flight cruises northwest at a similar rate to the rotation of the earth, the entire 13 hours was one long sunrise.  This was the view from my window for 4 straight hours.

On a less beautiful note, thank God for Delta SkyClub.  I had to go number 2 in Singapore's airport and they had squatty-potties everywhere.  No good for a tall American with sore hamstrings.  The Delta SkyClub had American toilets and free booze.  Ahhhh.

Singapore Rules!

No doubt about it - Singapore is a really great place.  One of my new favorites.  I'd love to come back sometime.  Everything is very expensive (my per diem is 144 USD just for food!).  My coworker, Charles, and I had a great walk this afternoon to the "Gardens by the Bay".  The architecture and the gardens everywhere we went were just awesome.  Photos below attempt to do it justice...

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Important Blog Update

I have now had a Singapore Sling in Singapore. 

Singapore Sling

I haven't actually had a Singapore Sling yet, but am having a good time nonetheless. Got in yesterday afternoon.  I've spent 2.5 hours on site, 2 hours by the pool going through layout drawings, 4 hours in my hotel room writing up a report, and the rest of the time eating.  Singapore is definitely somewhere I could see coming back for a cool vacation.  It's a really clean city/state and a short flight or boat ride to many exotic places that don't have Ebola.  Here are some fun things so far...

1) We flew from Amsterdam to Singapore via the southern part of Russia (staying out of missile range I hope).  The entire flight, I watch in wonderment as we passed over city after city that I've never heard of and couldn't even guess which continent it was on for a large majority of the time. As I'm landing into Singapore and filling out my passport documents, I realize that I don't know what Singapore is.  It says city on the plane's map, but on the passport card it does not list a country and I always thought Singapore is a country.  I now am pondering everything I've ever known.  The first thing I do when I get off the plane is Google what Singapore is.  Turns out it's known as a city-state that was created when the port (5th largest in the world) became to large for any country (mostly China) to handle.  They declared independence and no one really cared. 

2) Below you will see a photo of my bathroom at the hotel.  Not dual toilet-shower, but close.  First you will notice the small hose next to the toilet.  There is also a drain in the toilet stall.  I'm tempted to use the "hose" but am pretty sure I will end up just soaking everything I own.

3) Speaking of soaking everything I own... in the shower side there is a regular vertical shower fixture and a shower wand of some sort  (only the shower wand is visible in this photo). You'l notice the wand is point in the cameras direction.  Hmmmm.  When I go to take a shower I turn on the faucet full blast ASSUMING that the water will come out of the vertical fixture first with the wand acting as an axillary faucet if needed.  No.  The wand comes on full blast, and since it is freezing cold, I jump back and heed way to the spraying water.  Before I realize what is happening, the water has sprayed over the entire hotel room; bed, luggage, vanity.  Everything.  I ask my coworkers about it this morning, and everyone did the same thing.  

View from my window.

 

 Building with a football field size forest on top.

  

 

 Cool architecture.

Baby Dump

I feel like this post needs a little explanation.  There are a few really good English to Dutch translation issues that I've noticed so far, but my favorite by far is that they call things "Dump" like they would call "R Us" in the states.  For example, a Toys R Us would be Toy Dump over here.  You can see where this is going.  There is a store between here and work called "Baby Dump".  There is no other information or photos on the huge sign outside except "Baby Dump".  Terrific.  The only thing better would be if there was a church next door. 

Pedestrian Photos

Last night's parties in Eindhoven Centrum kicked off this year's Dutch Design Week.  Dutch Design Week is a combination of New York Fashion Week, Ted Talks, and senior design projects for every architect student in the country.  It's a pretty big deal for this area and all the shops this morning in Eindhoven were popping.

So, in the spirit of Dutch Design Week, I've created my own photo collection.  It's pedestrian in the fact that it was created with an iPhone and also that all the photos were taken while walking around.  See what I did there?  Here ya go...

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Per Request

Per request from V, I will now tell you about the where I am staying and what I am doing.  It doesn't relevant to me, but whatever...

I'm staying at a hotel in the "centrum" of Eindhoven.  Eindhoven is a relatively large city for Europe standards.  Eindhoven was bombed in WWII so most of the city is pretty new.  The street next to me is home to the best design academy in Netherlands so by transitive property the streets all around it are home to fashion boutiques, high end furniture stores, coffee shops, and art galleries.  Just past that is the pub street home to at least 40 fine establishments and 4 Euro trash dance clubs.  Going the opposite direction is the Eindhoven train and bus station.  Out my window is the Phillips headquarters.  Gerald and Frederick Phillips founded the lightbulb company back in 1891 and all over town are remnants of the old company mixed with new technology.

My room looks over the Phillips offices and the public library which is humungous.  The apartment is 700 sq. ft. and has a little European kitchen in it.  It's got everything I need and since I discovered a grocery store yesterday that has real food, all's good in the hood.

 Work is going well.  This weekend I plan on taking some photos of Eindhoven since it will be lovely weather.  Then, off to Singapore for a couple days. 

Settling Into Dutchland

This post is more informational than for story telling.


Problem: The cafeteria at work only takes pin-chip cards. 
Solution: Went to the local Travelex and purchased a reloadable debit card with pin number.  I recommend it for anyone traveling in Europe for more than a week.  And since I bought it over here, I didn't have to pay any inflation.  Apparently Roxy is getting a new card this week that has a pin-chip.  America is slowly coming around.


Problem: Buying bus passes from a system that does not accept my debit card. 
Solution: Go to the bus office first thing in the morning and put money on the bus card.  Duh.

Problem: Where to buy an umbrella.
Solution:  I found two stores that sell umbrellas.  One, has a kick ass umbrella for $110. http://us.senzumbrellas.com/   And another store had one for $9.  I got the $9 one.


Problem: No one sells grocery bags.
Solution: Buy one of those big ol freezer bags and shove all your groceries in it. 


Problem: Lack of creativity.
Solution: Wake up one morning and see this going on outside... (P.S. it's a photo shoot with half a zebra.)

First Day of School

Today I went to work for the first time in what seems like a week, but was actually only two days.  As a child who experienced going to a new school 6 times before the age of 16, I know a thing or two about the feeling of going to a new place for the first time.  Not a fan.  Today was just like that.

I was picked up by a taxi (school bus for adults) at 8am.  I arrived at the office and was promptly given an ID card (school ID).  I met with my new contact (teacher) and went and sat at my new desk (also new desk).  I was introduced to my new coworkers (school children) and had super awkward conversations.  Then lunch came.

The Dutch office is, in every way, a high school cafeteria. The campus is made up of 13 different buildings.  Each building has a set 45 minute time that they are allowed to eat so they don't jam up the cafeteria.  Our building ate at 12:15pm.  In the cafeteria, you grab a tray, put assortments of pudding, sandwiches, salads, soups, and fruit on your plate.  You stand in line and then swipe your ID card with a cashier to deduct money from your account.  The cashier then says some Dutch gibberish followed by "ice cream".  I'm no dummy, I know what ice cream is.  Before I can answer, there is a Popsicle on my plate.  I consider arguing with the lady about what ice cream is but give up.  The cafeteria is broken out into cliques and I'm forced to sit with my new "boss" in the Netherlands.  The cool kids are obviously sitting in the corner because they are making the most noise.  I'm at the dork table and find myself having a conversation about how the imperial system is inferior to the metric system.

The rest of the day is reading through specifications and thumbing through drawings of airports in places I never have been, and will likely not go ever.  I'm exhausted at the end of the day.  The feeling is the same as grade school.  It wasn't great.  It wasn't bad. If mom asked me how my day went, I'd say "good" and leave it at that.

What the heck Dutch?!?

Correction from last post: Smeer is not butter. Its some kind if weird cheese.  Smeerbare is butter.  So now I'm stuck with a crap ton of weird cheese.

Side note: They were doing a photo shoot outside my window this morning of little children and a half a taxadermied zebra.

Another side note: Walked by a place that translated to "center for bionic children". They are breeding terminators!

A final side note: Grocery stores are not open on Sunday here and that makes me sad.

Captain's Log - Star Date 1

I arrive in Holland this morning at 6:00am. Good flight. Free movies, free booze, what's not to love?  The airport, while the signage was confusing, was the cleanest and most organized airport I've been in. A car picked me up at a place literally called "the meeting place". The driver's name was Joost and that's about all he said the whole time.  The hotel is pretty nice but it takes a long series of maze-meandering to eventually get to my room. I took a nap and then awoke around noon to go exploring. Here are my notes so far...

1) Whoever said the Dutch all speak English is full of shit. They all speak to each other in Dutch. All signs, products, instructions are in Dutch with no English translation. Oh you mean that gibberish they are trying to pass off as English? Sounds like damn Swedish chef cooking up a dish at Christmas dinner. Gobbly gobbly turkey werky.

2) I'm not sure where people buy groceries. I walked all over the city and went to every grocery store Google had. I finally found one called "Jumbo". It was the size of a QT. They did have a good veggie selection, but they didn't carry butter or tortillas!  Damnit man, I'm trying to make quesadillas here!

3) No bags. As I'm fumbling around this "grocery store" I have my little basket filled with a loaf of bread, two cheeses, 3 bell peppers, carrot juice, a bag of apples, a tub of smeer (fake-ass butter), and a bag of kale greens. The lady rings me up and says some made up gibberish. I interpret this to mean shes reading me the total cost. I hand her some Euros - because of course it's too convenient for a grocer to accept either Visa or Amex - and she hands me my change. This is when I realize not only do they not put your groceries in a bag but they don't have bags at all! They don't even have bags for sale. I look around and everyone in line has their own handmade shopping bags.  Awesome. It's now raining outside so i take everything into my arms, quickly realize I wont be able to carry the kale greens and dump them in the closest trash can.  I literally just bought something and then threw it in the garbage less than 20 feet away. That's inflation for you.

4) Everyone wear's tight pants. Super tight.

5) There are no black people here.

6) Bicycles have all the power. Eindhoven is the 6th most bike-friendly city in the world.  There are more bikes here than in Portland and they will run you over - whether pedestrian or car. And no one wears helmets. I saw two bikes get clipped by cars today and no one even got mad.